In Conversation with the Universe

00:31
It was a sleepless hot summer night, one of those tasteless moments where you have to lie in the middle of your bed to maximize the chances of the cool air of the ceiling fan hitting you, and even with that you are trying to wrestle with your pillow to induce some sleep.
Yet sleep was far away, its tardy self, I would have to have a stiff word with it I had thought to myself. My mind had drifted to what Puneet was saying.
22:15
“See CK, you cannot really tell me that you will not marry!”
“Why? What is wrong with that?”
“In our society, and up bringing we cannot really get into a live-in relationship, it just will not work for us.”
“I meant living single Puneet!”
“Why? Don’t you think you will find a woman you want to share the rest of your life with?”
“No, considering the track record I do not think so”
“You have to keep your mind open to all possibilities my friend”

KEEP SELF OPEN TO OPPORTUNITIES

“And besides, you can always get your mother to arrange something for you.”
“I have made it clear to my mother that I would not let her do something like that. Arranged marriages are not for me, I do not want to be married to someone I do not love. And even if I get married, a scary thought, I want to know if it is worth it.”
“You have to work to make it worth your while dude.”

YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE

00:33
I woke up, got out of bed and walked towards the fridge. The summer had really started penetrating our sanity, as our brains were starting to melt into mush. The cool air blasting out of the fridge was very welcoming, I always find myself lingering at the fridge in the summer, surveying its ware as if I was looking at it for the first time. A big piece of watermelon, a half bar of MarsTM and some Alphonso Mangoes®. Food was not a good option I thought, I did not want to have a bout of acidity and bring out the green monster (a chronic nightmare). I settled for a bottle of water and closed the fridge. As I turned around, sipping some water from the bottle, I saw a figure wearing a silken robe and Gucci shades. The water went down my windpipe, and I was gasping for air, trying to Heimlich myself.
She opened her mouth and I knew I was having one of my better nightmares, her elegant tone was heavenly.
“Do not be alarmed, my name is Hielal, I have come to speak to you”
“Sort of obvious no? You are standing in my kitchen, alone, with me in my shorts in the middle of the night, if you are here for anything else I would be quite shocked, and disappointed to say the least”
“Ha Ha Ha, are you done?”
“No, wait I think I have one more…no I am done”
“Good, do you think we can sit down to have a chat then?”
“Why not, would you like some Alphonso Mangoes®?”
“I have tried it before, it wasn’t for me, I think it is highly overrated”
She seemed to have similar tastes as me, I liked this woman, her being imaginary or celestial notwithstanding.
“So CK, what troubles you? What keeps you up late at night, surveying the fridge for tidbits? Are you eating your frustration and deep angst?”
Was this celestial therapy? I asked myself, then I thought might as well ask her.
“Is this celestial therapy?”
“No dear, this is me Hielal, better known as the Universe, talking to you”
“This is cosmic then, not celestial?”
“Err…ok, whatever puts your mind at ease.”
“Tough luck, nothing is going to put my mind at ease, not when a cosmic being, the all pervading, omnipotent being is present in my hall on my sofa. Don’t you think being calm is out of the picture?”
“Sometimes my tone does the trick.”
“Maybe so, but I go deeper than that, and the deeper I go it is scaring me even more.”
“I hold all the answers.”
“Duh…I think that came with the job description. Do me a favor don’t state the obvious, that way we can get through this a lot faster.”
“You are going to die at 58, there, are you happy now ?, I gave you something you weren’t expecting.”
“How do I die? Is it painful?”
“I don’t want to state the obvious. And no, I can’t tell you how you die, that is against my code.”
“The cosmic code I am sure. All right, more pertinent question – Why are you here today?”
“You ask many questions to yourself, about your future. How successful you will be? How happy you will be? How many places you will go? How your family will be?”
“Doesn’t everybody?”
“Sure everybody does. But I am here to address one question that you keep nagging me about.”
And we both said it in unison
“Will you/I ever find the woman of your dreams?”
“Tough question”
“Important question, so I thought, I might as well come down and have a bit of a chat with you. Ck, you are a stupid, dumb, lame, loser who is waiting for me to do everything for you.”
Now those were fighting terms, but she was too cosmic to fight. So I listened, in anger, with a look of protest in my eyes, but I listened.
“Wipe that look of your face, you buffoon. What haven’t you got? A marvelous family, a splendid life, some of the best friends, a good job, great colleagues, your life has basically been a jolly ride, but you are just stuck on the one thing – Love.”
“Am I being selfish?”
“Not selfish, but moronic yes. The reason I haven’t been able to give you what you want, is that you are not ready for it. You have to love yourself before someone can love you. Otherwise, I will put two lives in jeopardy. You blame me for not finding the right one, I found two really great ones. And you drove them away with your incessant self loathing. If you hate yourself so much, why do you want others to think differently?”
I was about to say something here, but good sense prevailed.
“Can you love yourself? Can you be more open to life? Can you be grateful for what I have given you?”
“YES, YES oh a thousand times yes. But when will I find the girl?”
“I don’t know. Close your mouth, nothing is preordained, I have to manage everything in real time.”
“But you said I would die at 58.”
“That was bullshit to keep you on your toes. But now that I have said it I can manage it that way.”
“Hmmm, all right, so what you are saying is, be cool – be money”
“Swingers??? You are going to quote Swingers right now?”
“Good movie!”
“Excellent movie, but you cannot quote it here. You have to be open to life, and yours truly will make things happen. I do not want another black mark on my appraisal, you have to really shape things up all right.”
“Appraisal? Are you answerable to God?”
“Well, you have to meet Her, She is not really my superior, it is a flat organization you see. Enough of that, I have to go. Don’t let me down.”
“One last thing, will I ever be able to find eternal happiness?”
“Hahahahaha, I will let you know,i am working towards the same thing. Kiddo it’s the journey, not the destination. Cheerio”
00:42
I woke up in a sweaty mess, the fan had stopped, I was writhing in the wet bed. I sat up in my bed to gather my thoughts. It was a dream, pretty wild dream. It gave me some perspective, an idea, something to keep handy when I get absolutely nervous and anxious.
I took a sip of water from the bottle, and then went back to sleep. As I closed my eyes, I realized, that bottle had to have come from the kitchen.