Comfortably Numb

The air is crisp in my nostrils, the sweet smell of August fills my lungs. The rain has become an unwelcome guest, lovely at first but one who has overstayed the welcome. The wet mud and dirt soils my clothes, i endure it all, as if i am indifferent to the pain.

Long hours of work and lack of nourishing food is taking a toll on my body, all i can think of is my responsibilities. The nagging devil tugs at my elbow and beckons me to take a break, the idea is tempting, but i have worked too hard to let it all go to waste.

The legs are weak from lack of rest, the body wants to keep going but the legs give out. The flailing body falls in a singular motion, as if it was a twig landing on the soft cold soil in poetic slow motion. The crash on the floor gives everyone around me a shock, and all i have is a smug smile on my face. There were loud random calling of my name, but what did it matter if it was me who fell or the Pope, it was all the same to anyone.

Suddenly i have become a sad pathetic spectacle, a freak to behold, a weak insignificant drone, who does his masters bidding. Not everyone knows who i am , but only a few have seen me ever at work and even fewer still know my name. Their wide open eyes and gaping mouth tells a tale of surpirse,fear, and the worst expression of them all - Sympathy.

They just stand there, wondering what is to be done. Not accustomed to weakness, they fall prey to helplessness, because they lack the knowledge of the next step. The grin on my face is wider now, their visages become horrified still. Who can blame them? i was clearly not in pain as i was laughing.

Why was i laughing? what was it about the situation that i contrived as amusing?

My colleauges and their general apathy towards me, personal disrespect to my body, or was it that i just did not give a hoot about anything anymore. There was nothing more to do but smile.

After ages i had felt Happy. Folks i cannot explain this in words, because it would be like trying to explain the beauty of a sunset. In that brief moment in time, i did not exist. I had no attachements, no fear, no joy, no pain , no family, no friends, no hunger or indigestion.

I was just me, a plain canvass not to be disturbed by any stroke of feeling or thought.

They were sprinkling water on me now, it tasted sweet to me, sweeter than a day in February when everything is as nice as it can be. The downside was that i could feel again, i could feel the cold water on my skin.

Why couldnt they leave me alone, let me be, Comfortably Numb!